Michael's Personalized Cartoons

           "Now remember, we are making progress. Now                                     "Have you seen the latest issue of the Journal?
                        get out there this week and see what you can do                                     It's all, 'MIKE this, MIKE PERKINS that,' and
                        to finally drive MIKE crazy."                                                                     nothing about us."

"No that's the Stock Market.
The Perkins Building is over there." I ever tell you fellas the story of Wild Mike?"

                         "Excellent job, Doctor. My gosh, who
                          would have ever believed that one day
                          we'd be able to clone the lint from Mr.
                          Perkins's navel and put it into someone
                                    else's?"

Personalized (CrAzY) 'Toons!!

"Hello, Michael Perkins? Pookie the
Image Consultant. How are you today?"

"Paula, get Michael Perkins on the
phone and tell him the cows have just
come home -- in fact they're in my office
now -- and find out what we were
waiting for."

"Michael, do you know anything
about computer viruses?"

"Michael Perkins just declared his
independence from the company. Pass it
on..."

"Hmmm. 'Recommended by three out of
four doctors, four out of five breeders,
and Michael Perkins.'"

"I was thinking of getting one of those
'Michael Perkins Rules' tattoos, but then
I was like, 'Who is Michael Perkins?'"

"Hmmm. Well, tell Michael that if it
looks like a pig, walks like a pig and
quacks like a pig, it's probably just a
really sick duck. But I'll have to get back
to him on that."

"I know the feeling, Michael. I'm in over
my head, too."

"Hmmm, okay. Well in that case,
notwithstanding the pie charts provided
by Dr. Perkins, can anyone think of any
other reason why these two should not be
joined together in Holy matrimony?"

"No, Michael Perkins got 'Most Likely to
Succeed.' I got 'Dork Magnet of the
Year.'"

"Good morning, Mr. Perkins. How may I
help you today?"

"So you say this Michael Perkins gave
you the best advice you've ever had, and
all the while was extremely pleasant and
courteous? I think you may have a case
here."

"I think we've just found the cause of Mr.
Perkins's indigestion."

"Oh mine says, 'You'll never measure up
to Michael Perkins.' What does yours
say?"

"I think Michael's over there picking up
his other medal."

"Same here, Michael. We're doing
everything we can to snag more
customers, too."

"Are you sure this is how Michael Perkins
got his start?"

"Have you ever noticed how big Michael's
head is?"

"Michael better hurry or he'll miss the
debate."

"Michael, your costume is amazing!"

"They say Michael Perkins has 286
dollars more than I do. I demand a
recount."

"Michael Perkins looks young but has the
portfolio of a person twice his age."

"And please bless Michael's very first
attempt at cooking our Thanksgiving
dinner..."

"This just in, according to Al Gore, 'There
is no Santa Claus.' And in a related story,
a Gore spokesman has added, 'But Mr.
Gore does have his eye on Michael
Perkins's job, and will hold a press
conference on the subject later today.'"

"Money talks, but it talks to Michael
Perkins first."

"Hey! Michael Perkins gave me a fifty!"

"It's from Michael Perkins. All it says is,
'Here, you take them.'"

"Comparing yourself financially to
Michael Perkins is not helping your self
esteem."

"Michael Perkins's dog has its own credit
card. "

"It's Michael Perkins. He wants to know if
we have a gift-return policy."

"Michael Perkins is on the phone
reminding you there are only 348 more
shopping days before Christmas."

"Trust me. If Michael Perkins would take
your calls that's the advice he'd give you."

"Seven across: More powerful than a locomotive. That's
easy! Michael Perkins!"

"It says, 'Pay Michael Perkins what he's
worth and you will reap great rewards.'"

"Get me Michael Perkins in here pronto! I need help getting my ducks in a row."

"You misunderstood me. I said Michael Perkins is high on drug stocks."

"For crying out loud, Michael, you'd think we owned stock in the electric company..."

"This must be the spot Michael has been telling me about."

"I'll never solicit Michael Perkins again.
He just mopped up the floor with me!"

"I just found this rubber band. Maybe Michael Perkins dropped a roll of hundreds."

“Why no, I haven't played with Michael Perkins before. How did you know?"

"Wow, great putt Michael!"

"Would passenger Michael Perkins please remove
his canoe from the overhead bin?"

"We've just got to do something to ease Michael's workload!"

"Think someone should mention to Michael that ice fishing season is over?"

"How high is up...? How low is down...? These are questions for Michael Perkins."

Personalized Animal Bytes....

"Poor Michael. The early bird got him."	"We never should have taken Michael to see 'Chicken Run.'"	"Have you met Michael, my better half?"

"Michael Perkins! I'd recognize you anywhere."	"Perkins here, poolside."	"I don't know, Michael. She says she met you in a chatroom. "

"Surely, Michael, a porcupine has to be able to take some criticism."	"Hmmm. It says, 'If this wallet is ever found, please return it to Mike Perkins for a $100 reward and a nice crab dinner.'"	"I warned Michael about using sunblock."

"Can I call you back, Michael? Right now I'm on the web."	"Michael Perkins asked us to help with a wine and cheese party. Well...I've got the wine."	"Michael, drop the remote!"

"Michael, you're not going out till you have cleaned up your room."	"Sorry, the chicken isn't in right now. He's across the road seeing Michael Perkins."	"Michael isn't in right now. He went over the mountain, he went over the mountaaaaaain, to see what he could see, to see what he could seeee..."

"Michael liked being in school so much, he decided to stay."	"Michael here is very big on saving."	"Why can't Michael just trumpet like the rest of us?"

"Like them? They're called duck shoes. I borrowed them from Michael's tent."	"As much as we love Michael, I sometimes question the wisdom of playing leap frog with him."	"Once Michael gets his momentum up, watch out."

Face it Michael, you're a turkey. We're all turkeys."	"How come Michael can change his spots?"	"Our friend Michael here will be staying with us until after the holidays."

"I knew Michael could talk the talk, but I didn't know he could walk the walk."	"Be careful how you treat Michael Perkins. He has a pit bull for a lawyer."	"Your breath is terrible. Has Michael Perkins been in the park feeding everyone those garlic-flavored bread crumbs again?"

"Michael has a new love, but wait till he finds out it's just a Christmas ribbon."	"I got Michael a gift for the holiday, but I have to keep it hidden till I give it to him."	"Michael Perkins always has the best holiday leftovers."

"Michael always moves with the times."	"I understand they're putting a statue of Michael Perkins in the park. I can hardly wait."	"Michael Perkins makes really great martinis, so try to remember that tonight you're the designated driver."